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deddo's Journal

Created on 2007-02-05 21:24:06 (#12216020), last updated 2007-02-17

8 comments received, 13 comments posted

Basic Account [Gift]

6 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 5 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	deddo-kun
Birthdate:	04-27
Location:	Antioch, Tennessee, United States
Website:	Inferi Irae

Bio

"... like the turning of a bent wheel."
My name is unimportant. I am called a multitude of things; you may accordingly assign me a nickname for you, yourself, to use, or pick from the current lot: deddo-kun, kitsune, inugami. Many also dutifully choose a lively and vivacious curse word shouted at my back (or in the case of the 'intarnets,' caps locked and bolded) with which to entice me. I usually am, indeed, seduced. Sweet nothings rarely sway me. Romance, affection never-ending, are not my style. Pain and pleasure in equal measure, say I. For this, I am regarded with distaste, disgust, and mild exasperation, among other varying degrees of disapproval. I don't believe in love at first sight. Except for my pretties. Speaking of such, I cannot yet decide if I am to marry Hiroaki-san, Tatsurou-san, or Tom Felton. Perhaps Alan Rickman, but I believe he's living with someone. And he is a wee bit on the older side.
I can be a right prat. I've been known as a verbal pitbull. You may scoff at this, but wait until I sink my teeth into you. But I don't attack without reason- usually; this is because I normally just grit my teeth and turn away, when it is over something important or offending. But small things set off my temper. I'm ever confusing, no?
I am unabashedly a narcissist. I take great pride in my appearance and style. I refuse to be put down. I refuse to consider that I am anything less than perfect. Even my imperfections are perfect, because they are me. So if we get into an argument and you try a low-blow comment on my appearance, expect an 'LOL.'
... I have not yet decided if this is to be friend locked or not. It would be silly at this point, as I have two friends. We'll call it semi-locked and leave it at that for the moment.

profile layout

Poked and probed for the good of man;
There is no more truth today;
It washed away and no one noticed;
But I did
-- Kylesa, The Good of Man

fascinations²
fine art º intelligent discussion º going out for coffee º cinema º literature º fanfiction º photography º fashion & design º make-up º roses º magnolias º skin warm from the summer º lying on the grass º staring at the sky for so long that the indoors pales in comparison º technology º all varieties of tea º Tatsurou º Hiroaki º Tom Felton º Alan Rickman º music º Japan º scalding hot showers º strawberry º daydreaming º sleep º wanton moments º dozing, pressed against the warmth of a friend º raindrops falling into puddles º the outdoors º hiking º the pulse pounding moment just before the agony of anticipation awards you º being lost in a moment º the electric jolt when someone catches your eyes º solitude º music º drifting so deeply into yourself that you feel the enormity of your being and find it impossible to lift even a finger, incapable to break the moment º

... et cetera.

"Alright, I do bad, what with crasting and tolchocks and carves with the britva and the old in-out-in-out, and if I get loveted, well, too bad for me, O my little brothers, and you can't run a country with every chelloveck comporting himself in my manner of the night. So if I get loveted and it's three months in this mesto and another six in that, and then, as P.R. Deltoid so kindly warns, next time, in spite of the great tenderness of my summers, brothers, it's the great unearthly zoo itself, well, I say: 'Fair, but a pity, my lords, because I just cannot bear to be shut in. My endeavour shall be, in such future as stretches out its snowy and lilywhite arms to me before the nozh overtakes or the blood splatters its final chorus in twisted metal and smashed glass of the highroad, to not get loveted again.' Which is fair speeching. But, brothers, this biting of their toe-nails over what is the cause of badness if what turns me into a fine laughing malchick. They don't go into what is the cause of goodness, so why of the other shop? If lewdies are good, that's because they like it, and I wouldn't ever interfere with their pleasures, and so of the other shop. And I was patronizing the other shop.

More, badness is of the self, the one, the you or me on our oddy knockies, and that self is made by old Bog or God and in his great pride and radosty. But the not-self cannot have the bad, meaning they of the government and judges and the schools cannot allow the bad because they cannot allow the self. And is not our modern history, my brothers, the story of brave malenky selves fighting these big machines? I am serious with you, brothers, over this.

But what I do I do because I like to do."
-- Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange

broken things
overt romance º public displays of affection º elitism º dragged out conversations º answering to authority º incessant questioning º children (who aren't Mason) º shame º the sinking sensation when you realize you've fucked up º commitment º broken things º being talked over º being in a full room and feeling all alone º frustration º being vulnerable º people who take advantage º dream crushers º people who don't take me seriously; if I say I'll do it, it is so º people vying for my attention º artist blocks º writers blocks º depression º pity º

... et cetera

amidst the comparison and proportions;
you're screaming yourself mad;
this is what you wanted, right?;
you must be a romanticist
-- Dir en grey, merciless cult

a final word
This profile is a basic outline of what you'll be greeted with upon first getting to know me. A stoic front, an unease, perhaps a bit of violence, perhaps a bit of mistrust.

In reality, I'm bittersweet.

I am stoic. I am akward and ill-acquainted with emotion. Being vulnerable enough that someone would know what I am feeling is rare for me, and it's a select few who have seen it. But the viciousness is not inherant- it's learned. In my childhood, I was shy, quiet, trusting. Being taken advantage of was incentive enough to take on a façade, a face of viciousness. In time, I learned it, and became it.. to an extent. I straddle the fence between good and bad, and like to call it shady.
But if you take the time to get to know me, I've been known to be... cute. Though I shudder at the word, it's what my true friends call me. I'm hyper, tempestuous, fiesty, outgoing, and my friends make it common knowledge that I'm funny, even if my humor is obscure. Give me a minute, get to know me, and I'll be loyal. Give me time, and I'll worm my way into your heart. I'll never be frail, or needy, so if you're looking for a damsel in distress, a shrinking violet, a wilting rose, turn around.

But if you're looking for an exuberant weed, strangling all the flowers with a sheepish grin and an obscure joke, come on in.

I dare you.

waking up today, again it's the pits;
cause I watched too much late night TV;
I forget the song I'm in the midst of humming to myself;
how did it go again?;
if I come to a stop, I'll get left behind;
What did I lose in this city, what was taken?;
the sunrise paints the city red;
a sight that since long before has never changed.
-- MUCC, Kokoro no Maichi